From a ‘Wetherspoons plate’ to something you’d throw up after a night out, the worst footie kits ever revealed

3 months ago 31

MANCHESTER City fans are looking back in anger at their side’s dull draw on Wednesday against Inter Milan in the new “Oasis-inspired” fourth kit.

After the match, City defender Manuel Akanji admitted he’d accidentally passed to the assistant ref because the official’s top looked like his side’s special-edition shirt.

a soccer player wearing a shirt that says etihad airwaysAlamy
Erling Haaland in Wednesday’s disappointing 0-0 Champions League draw with Inter[/caption]
a man wearing a blue shirt with a puma logo on itPUMA / BEEM
The Definitely City strip was part-designed by Noel Gallagher to mark the 30th anniversary of debut album Definitely Maybe[/caption]

One supporter fumed that the Definitely City strip – part-designed by the band’s Noel Gallagher to mark the 30th anniversary of debut album Definitely Maybe – was “the worst footie kit I’ve ever seen.”

But in the league of garish football garb, the peach and blue shirt is nowhere near top of the table.

Garish classic replica football shirts are trendy with Gen Z, who are as likely to flaunt an obscure top as they are a team’s main colours.

True collectors will want all three – home, away and third kits, which can cost £80 to £110 each.

If the strips have been “match-worn” by a star player in a memorable game they can fetch thousands of pounds.

That has led to clubs battling to put out even more eye-catching kit.

Premier League champs City went further, by introducing the Definitely City strip – inspired by the front room shown on the album’s cover – to be worn during home matches in the Champions League this season.

The “authentic” shirt will set fans back £125. But it does come in a “collector’s box” featuring Noel on the front.

So which club kits are winners and which deserve to be relegated to the nearest charity shop?

Fashion Editor Clemmie Fieldsend is our referee.

MANCHESTER CITY

BOSS Pep Guardiola strummed the guitar in a photoshoot recreation of Oasis’s Definitely Maybe album for the fourth kit’s launch.

And while the shirt’s colours are inspired by the band’s album cover, they don’t appear to be in tune with fans who prefer the classic sky-blue hues of the home strip.

Clemmie says: “Some might say this Oasis themed shirt is Wonderwall, but Man alive, it’s reminding me of a dinner lady’s tabard.”

NORWICH CITY

a colorful shirt that says blakely on the frontNorwich City
There is no excuse for this Norwich City multi-coloured goalie kit[/caption]

THE Canaries can’t do much about the fact their yellow and green colours resemble what might be regurgitated after a heavy night out.

But there is no excuse for this multi-coloured goalie kit, which is even more offensive to the eyes than their much sought-after early Nineties home shirt.

Clemmie says: “The print looks like it’s come straight off a bus seat, and that’s not a fashion goal or a keeper.”

TOTTENHAM

a green jersey with aia written on ittottenhamhotspur.com
Tottenham’s army-green kits[/caption]

IT’S perhaps understandable that Tottenham fans might want to go out in camouflage after the Premier League side’s poor start to the season.

But surely their army-green third shirt blends in too much with the turf and will make it difficult for team-mates to pick each other out.

Clemmie says: “It may be ‘first the worst’ in the children’s rhyme, but third has outdone it when it comes to Tottenham’s reserve shirt.”

IPSWICH TOWN

a pink shirt with the word tour on itIpswich Town’s pink and white third kit is sponsored by Ed Sheeran’s world tour

ED SHEERAN has worn his beloved Ipswich Town’s third kit, which is sponsored by his world tour.

While the ­pop collaboration makes sense, the pink colour with white musical frequencies on it is nothing but a bad equation.

Clemmie says: “Featuring sound waves from fans at Portman Road, plus the local coastline, Framlingham Castle and Wolsey’s Gate – local tourism chiefs must be thrilled.”

CHELSEA

a blue shirt with the word chelsea on itIt looks like Chelsea have stuck a white top in a washing machine with blue dye to create this kit

HAVING splashed out more than £300million on players this summer, it seems the West London club didn’t have much cash left over to hire a kit designer.

Instead they seem to have stuck a white top in a washing machine with blue dye and left it to see what would happen.

Clemmie says: “It’s not very likely that this child-like design is going to ignite any fires in fashion.”

STOKE CITY

a pink shirt with the word stoke on itSouthampton FC
Stoke City’s third kit reminds Clemmie of ‘Lady Gaga’s famous meat dress’[/caption]

THE Championship side have just sacked their manager Steven Schumacher – but the designers who did their third kit deserve the push as well.

For a part of the world that is famous for its potteries, you might think they could do better.

Clemmie says: “Stoke City’s third kit reminds me of Lady Gaga’s famous meat dress with its patchy pink design – and not in a good way.”

ARSENAL

a jersey that says emirates fly better on itArsenal supporters blasted the decision to have kits with similar colours to those of Man City

THE Gunners have gone for a sky-blue third kit, with very similar colours to those of their biggest league rivals, Man City.

But that decision has been blasted by supporters of the North London side.

Clemmie says: “The light blue and lilac colours have a look of the Premier League title holders’ shirt about them.

“But despite the critics, it is the most versatile and fashionable of the lot.”

SUNDERLAND

a blue shirt with utilita life with power written on itSunderland’s shirt looks like a Wetherspoons plate, say fans

STARE too long at The Black Cats’ third kit and you are liable to be hypnotised by its Seventies-style pattern.

Look closer at the blue shirt and you will see a colliery wheel, which celebrates the city and wider North East’s proud coal mining history.

Clemmie says: “Some fans have taken a stand against it saying it looks like a Wetherspoons plate.”

LEICESTER CITY

a black shirt with bc.game written on itLeicester City’s black Adidas shirt, with gold and pink splashes, looks faded

THERE is nothing foxy about the away kit Jamie Vardy is wearing for The Foxes this season.

The black Adidas shirt, with gold and pink splashes, looks faded – a bit like Leicester City’s ­survival hopes.

Clemmie says: “There’s the vintage look and then there’s ‘mouldy’. Bit of an own-goal.”

BRIGHTON

a yellow jersey that says american express on itNike
Brighton’s striped yellow and blue away kit ‘has a retro feel’, says Clemmie[/caption]

BRIGHTON’S striped yellow and blue away kit has drawn comparisons with those pesky cartoon Minions.

But the Seagulls have had a strong start to the season, so maybe those bright colours are helping to put off the opposition.

Clemmie says: “Brighton’s new kit has a retro feel that bumps it right up the fashion league table.”

SOUTHAMPTON

a pink shirt with the word rollbit on itSouthampton FC
Southampton’s pink kit has been described as ‘up there with the worst kits ever’[/caption]

FANS of newly promoted Saints described their new third kit as “needing sunglasses to see it” and “up there with the worst kits ever”.

Pondering the South coast side’s dodgy history of questionable shirts, Clemmie says: “While they say their strip ‘follows the dazzle concept’, the Pepto Bismol pink colour makes me feel a little queasy and should be quickly relegated.”

HOW THEY PEPPED UP  OASIS  LP  COVER

a poster for definitely city shows a group of people in a living roomPUMA / BEEM
Man City stars recreate Oasis’ legendary album cover[/caption]
a poster for oasis ' definitely maybe albumThe original Definitely Maybe cover by Oasis

THE Definitely City kit is inspired by the Definitely Maybe cover, and the publicity material for it was shot in a living room based on the cover, with City’s Kyle Walker, Jess Park, Ederson and Mateo Kovacic joining Pep Guardiola and Noel Gallagher.

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