SUNSPORT’S April Fool’s Day VAR joke had such a ring of truth no one would be too surprised if it happens.
Football is in the grip of over-regulation and our fun story on Easter Monday suggested VAR cameras would shortly be pointed at the managers’ box beside the pitch.
Actually it isn’t even called a “box” but a “technical area”, a pompous way of saying not much at all.
In this area, managers are expected to behave with the decorum of a monk.
“Stand still please, or you’ll get a yellow”, warns a guy in a tracksuit standing guard over some of the greatest men in football.
I’m a little over the top here. But when the rules of this area are more stringent than those in the House of Commons, matters have gone awry.
What would have been the reaction to Barry Fry at Birmingham?
His touchline antics alone were worth the entrance money at St Andrew’s.
I had been managing director a few months when we appointed Barry, whose top act was to race down a touchline arms waving, shouting advice and perhaps other things at his players.
He is a wonderful character who today, I imagine, would have been manacled in his “technical area” complete with a rag stuffed into his mouth!
Blues fans loved his antics but, inevitably, it was banned.
Fair to say it touched on rabble-rousing.
And it would be ridiculous to allow managers free rein while their players are being told to behave as sportsmen and not incite the more excitable among their followers.
But supporters like to see their manager get involved.
CASINO SPECIAL – BEST CASINO WELCOME OFFERS
The image of Jurgen Klopp all in black grinning or agonising under his black cap is irresistible and his generosity of spirit has made him easily our favourite German.
Publicly, managers have reacted mildly to their strange sort of imprisonment.
Mikel Arteta has grumbled that three yellows for a ban is two fewer than players face.
His stance is that managers are present at all matches whereas players are not, for various reasons.
This is rather too sophisticated for most of us but the Arsenal manager has had four bookings this season — once for straying over the line and another time for, he said, “waving at Martinelli”.
Two others have ventured beyond three.
Touchline antics
Italian Roberto de Zerbi, the Brighton boss, claimed he got a yellow card because “perhaps the fourth official didn’t understand my words”.
And Manchester United’s Erik ten Hag got one for protesting a throw-in too strongly.
As a player, Vincent Kompany received just three reds in 17 years but he added another as Burnley boss at Chelsea last Saturday.
He apologised to officials after the 2-2 draw.
But Kompany also said: “The frustration comes from the fact it’s been a succession of them and these were debatable. I’ll keep saying what I think.”
Good on you, Vincent!
Unpredictable VAR
THE PROFESSIONAL game is fast being played nearly as much in the rulebook as on the pitch — such is the pressure to win.
The VAR record is good on offsides and line rulings but otherwise unpredictable — making mince meat of handball rulings and no better than a ref on free-kicks.
West Ham’s 4-3 defeat at Newcastle turned on a questionable VAR call that Kalvin Phillips had fouled Anthony Gordon.
But there is no point complaining as nothing changes and our boss David Moyes could do no more than grimace.
I have written five letters to PGMOL this season questioning decisions. All you get back are pictures from the rulebook and justifications of the decisions.
There’s something unbalanced when a manager can cavort when his team scores but cannot protest sensibly at a bad goal given against.